The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Ok, it’s been two weeks and I haven’t posted.  I’m a little off my game, but I have committed to this through the good, the bad and the ugly.  I told my husband last week that I lost weight.  Ok, it was .2 lbs, but hey, I figure it’s still going down.  He didn’t quite see it that way.  He said, “Take off your shorts, you’ll lose another .2 lbs.”  He may be right, but I’m still seeing this as part of the good.  I can zip my jeans without having to monitor the zipper all day, so that .2 lbs means something!  lol

Car and countertop?  check!  I’m doing well with this except when my husband puts his stuff on my side of the countertop or leaves his coffee cup and napkin on the car floor.  We got some talking to do.  So far, I’ve been just pushing his stuff back on his side and taking the trash out myself, but before I become Monster Wife, I better get a handle on it.

Now for the Bad.  I didn’t do my August act of kindness.  😦  I’m planning to change this by doing 2 in September, but I doesn’t change that I missed my August deadline.  I really do want to keep up with my goals and if I let them slip by, how can I say I’m committed.  Well, I AM committed and my report next week will show that.  I also haven’t done my New Testament study for the past month and I need to get back to that.  I miss it.  It’s funny how you can read the New Testament time and time again and it still speaks to you in a different way.  Lastly for the bad, I haven’t started the couch to 5k program yet.  I do walk my dog morning and night, but it’s definitely NOT a 5k.  I feel like I’ve just misstepped on these goals and will be back on track soon, but…

Now for the UGLY.  Still no painting.  Still no bags.  Still no closet work.  Still no excuses.  What more is there to say?  Not much.  Happy Goal Tending!

You’ve Got to be Kidding Me!

Me at a hefty 278 lbs

I got so mad at myself the other day.  I felt overloaded with sugar, bloated by salt and on top of that I looked in the mirror at my underwear clad body and thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”  How in the world can a person lose 22 lbs and still look fat?  It was then I knew that I had to lose the next decade of poundage.  I’ve said goodbye to the 70’s.  I’ve said goodbye to the 60’s.  Now it’s time to say goodbye to the 50’s. 

I think sometimes you just have to get sick of yourself before you can move on.  Well, here I am sick of myself.  Granted, my clothes fit better and I do have more energy, but come on!  I’ve lost 22 lbs and I’m still the same size!  I’m sick of it! I want to go down a size for pete’s sake. 

You know what else I’m sick of?  I’m sick to death that it takes an act of congress to sit in a booth or a school chair!  I want to sit comfortably in one of those.  And I mean WITHOUT my stomach roll resting on top.  How about theater seats, airplane seats where the safety belt barely fastens, or in a lawn chair without worrying about breakage?  Being fat is just downright embarrassing.  Most of the time I’m pretty confident, but then I see a picture of myself and I think again, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”  Enough of this rant.  When I look in the mirror in a few months and think, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”  I want it to mean something wholly different, and I want to be down at least one dress size.  Goodbye to the 50’s!

Me now 22 lbs lighter

 

Time for an Update

Thanks to my friend Kim for getting me motivated again, it’s time for an update. Sugar isn’t totally out of my diet anymore (I made chocolate chip cookies yesterday) but I am much more aware of what I eat and how much of it I eat. I feel better about myself, now 22 lbs lighter, and I’m never going back to those two decades of pounds I left behind.
The great thing about all of this is how much better my clothes fit. I haven’t gone down a size which tells me I was squeezing myself into these clothes that were really too small for me. Arghhh! Well, now they fit! You really do look so much better in clothes that fit. Of course losing 22 lbs doesn’t hurt my looks too much either. I don’t think other people are noticing yet, but I think I will have to go down a size before that happens. Sadly, I think that’s about 20 lbs away judging by the weight I’ve already lost. I don’t want to squeeze my way into the next size that’s for sure!
I’m beginning to take control of my life in other ways too. I’m making a notebook for change with sections on home, spirituality, self, school and money. It makes me feel good to be moving toward something instead of growing stagnant. I’m thinking if I keep my focus on change, my focus will decrease on food. Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy good food and love to cook (see my other blog if you have doubts http://kitchenchicks.wordpress.com) but food shouldn’t be my whole focus which is what I think it has been in the past.
To any of you still out there reading my wanderings, thank you. I’m still here.