As you know, I have made my goals for the summer to:
- Fill a wall with family pictures
- Lose 30 lbs with 20 lbs gone by the end of summer
- Read through the Bible looking for those fruits of the spirit to apply to my life.
Have I started on the wall yet? Well I decided on 2 pictures. Does that count? This week I’m going to have my grand children here, so I’d like to get some candid pictures to frame and put up along with the old ones I already have. I’m looking for quality as well as quantity as they say. 🙂
My new challenge is from my daughter. She says if I lose 20 lbs by the time school starts she’ll buy me 5 new outfits! Now that’s some incentive, because I’ve been looking at my clothes lately and they’re rather outdated and raggedy. I’ve already lost 2.5 lbs this week! Hey, I’m 1/10 of the way there. It counts. 🙂
As for reading through the Bible, I’m following along with the Bible study at church, but I don’t think that really counts. It wasn’t my intent when I made the goal to let church be my guide, so it wouldn’t be honest to say that counts. Let’s just say I need to work on this goal.
But…let me show you what I have done. I made this really snazzy bag for the Fourth of July!
Pretty neat right? One Snazzy Bag!
Now I’m 1/10 of the way through with my goal for last summer. Ha! Ha!
Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Ok, so I’ve been kind of a tortoise about this whole closet goal. But, today, I have begun a slow and steady pace toward, well, beginning it. 🙂 Here’s what I did:
- Washed everything
- Dried everything (hey, this takes time and is important.)
- Sorted things into categories
- Dealt with each category
Here’s how the sorting went:
- Clothes that I like and still wear–These included some things I should probably move to another category, but will have to wait until I’m stronger. I actually shifted back and forth over an old t-shirt that was faded and oh so comfy cozy. Needless to say, it’s in my drawer now. 🙂
- Goodwill–This pile is a pile only a rummage sale junkie could love. These included anything that doesn’t fit (large or small) and is still in enough good shape that someone might want to wear it (as long as they’re 80 lbs overweight of course.) Looking around, I don’t think I’m alone on that count. I also included some things my husband and son will never miss but are still hanging onto. (Don’t tell them)
- Trash galore–For this, I actually dragged the big trash can next to my laundry room door and tossed as I went. It’s trash day today. There were clothes with holes, shirts with buttons missing or anything with stains that have been there for longer than I can remember. For some reason, this was the hardest category. I labored over those holey shirts as if they were really holy. I told myself, “I can use these when I’m gardening”–yeah right. And, “I need some old shirts for when I’m cleaning the house.” Right, like I’m going to search and find an old holey t-shirt to clean the house. Isn’t that what plain old t-shirts are for?
Anyway, through it all–tortoise or no tortoise–I feel better about the whole thing. I actually think I can do this again and finish the job by December. I’ve got 2 months right? It was kind of freeing actually. Some of those things I threw away were truly junk–well, all of them were truly junk, I finally have to admit.
So, now that I’m free of all my trash, or treasure for someone else, I can think about losing weight again. I have hit a wall in that area, but getting rid of all these clothes has renewed my interest in becoming slimmer by Christmas. It means a whole new wardrobe! Now that’s incentive! Besides, slow and steady wins the race, right?
Go ahead, tackle that closet. You can do it! You need some new things anyway. 🙂
Me at a hefty 278 lbs
I got so mad at myself the other day. I felt overloaded with sugar, bloated by salt and on top of that I looked in the mirror at my underwear clad body and thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me!” How in the world can a person lose 22 lbs and still look fat? It was then I knew that I had to lose the next decade of poundage. I’ve said goodbye to the 70’s. I’ve said goodbye to the 60’s. Now it’s time to say goodbye to the 50’s.
I think sometimes you just have to get sick of yourself before you can move on. Well, here I am sick of myself. Granted, my clothes fit better and I do have more energy, but come on! I’ve lost 22 lbs and I’m still the same size! I’m sick of it! I want to go down a size for pete’s sake.
You know what else I’m sick of? I’m sick to death that it takes an act of congress to sit in a booth or a school chair! I want to sit comfortably in one of those. And I mean WITHOUT my stomach roll resting on top. How about theater seats, airplane seats where the safety belt barely fastens, or in a lawn chair without worrying about breakage? Being fat is just downright embarrassing. Most of the time I’m pretty confident, but then I see a picture of myself and I think again, “You’ve got to be kidding me!” Enough of this rant. When I look in the mirror in a few months and think, “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I want it to mean something wholly different, and I want to be down at least one dress size. Goodbye to the 50’s!
- Me now 22 lbs lighter
Have you ever felt tired to the bone? That’s how I feel today. Tired of eating all the right things. Tired of my job (I actually love my job, but some weeks are like that.). Tired of trying to do my best while at the same time knowing it’s not quite good enough. I know, I know, I’m having a pity party. It’s one of those days when you want to go home, lay on the bed and just let your mind spin away to another world. Sometimes a good cry helps with that too, but I’m too tired for that. It’s in these times when you want to throw up your hands and just say, “Who really cares? I’m going to do whatever I want to do.” That’s what my body tells me, “Go ahead. Do what you want to do.” Even when I’m tired I know this is a lie. We weren’t made to do whatever we want to do, but sometimes I give into it anyway pretending I don’t know any better. Not today. Today I will choose health. I will choose what is best instead of what I want. Not because I have some lofty goal. Not because something might happen to me if I don’t. It’s because, if I really want change in my life, if I really want to be something different, what I want has to take a back seat to what is right. Ok, so I’m tired. So I feel defeated. So I don’t get to do everything I want to do. Choosing what is right is the catalyst I need for change. But let me think about that after a nice, long nap. ZZZZZZZZZ
Because you’re mine, I walk the line. I’m talking about my body. It’s my body and I need to walk the line so that it can stay healthy. I’ve been letting my creature control me for too long. It’s time to control the creature. I’ve been talking to my body every day. I know that sounds ridiculous, but I have. I tell it that I know it’s feeling upset because I’m changing things but it’s ok and it should release the fat cells so that it can feel better. I tell it that it’s not pleasure that makes you feel good but feeling good that gives you pleasure. I tell it that everything works better when it’s in its best condition, that it may be unpleasant at first, but that in the long run everything will be more pleasurable. I tell it to quit looking to the moment for pleasure and look to a lifetime of greater enjoyment. I really believe this even if my creature isn’t on board yet. When it nags me to make an immediate pleasurable choice, I remind myself that, in the long run, that immediate pleasure is short lived and can bring me a long period of heartache.
This 60 day challenge has taught me much. I’ve learned that I can live without all the sugar I was eating. I’ve learned that there are more important things in life than the moment you are currently experiencing. I’ve learned that when you take control of your body and quit listening to the creature, your self esteem goes up, your energy level increases, and your body starts to feel better too. Why did it take 50 years for me to get to this place? I guess I’m a late bloomer. 🙂
I’m sitting at home on a blustery day, where the quiet snow is falling all around. In these times I remember that it is enough to breathe, relax and be. Whatever your weight, it is the inner self that is important. Who am I inside? Do I care about people? Am I progressing with my life? In quiet moments, I think about these things and the way I perceive myself becomes more important than the way others perceive me. We all need moments like this to reflect and accept that we aren’t all bad or all good. We’re somewhere in between seeking to be something better than we’ve become. So here in this quiet moment, I am looking backward at what I’ve done, not dwelling on my mistakes, but learning from them, and I’m looking forward to what is to come. Going forward takes a little faith, and you know, it all started with a grain the size of a mustard seed…
Today, as I was considering the path ahead of me on this weight loss journey, I considered newness. Newness can be scary, but it can be exciting. Newness is courageous. Newness is daring. Newness is moving in a different direction in order to change things. For better or worse, newness helps us to grow, mature and make ourselves something entirely different. That’s what I need in my life right now, a way to see myself differently. I need to be renewed not just in my body, but also in my mind. As I start to move in a different direction, I have to change the way I perceive things, the way I approach situations, the way I see myself at a given place in time. Today, I’m embracing newness. Will you be daring? Will you be courageous? Come on! What have we got to lose? Let’s go together!