The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Ok, it’s been two weeks and I haven’t posted.  I’m a little off my game, but I have committed to this through the good, the bad and the ugly.  I told my husband last week that I lost weight.  Ok, it was .2 lbs, but hey, I figure it’s still going down.  He didn’t quite see it that way.  He said, “Take off your shorts, you’ll lose another .2 lbs.”  He may be right, but I’m still seeing this as part of the good.  I can zip my jeans without having to monitor the zipper all day, so that .2 lbs means something!  lol

Car and countertop?  check!  I’m doing well with this except when my husband puts his stuff on my side of the countertop or leaves his coffee cup and napkin on the car floor.  We got some talking to do.  So far, I’ve been just pushing his stuff back on his side and taking the trash out myself, but before I become Monster Wife, I better get a handle on it.

Now for the Bad.  I didn’t do my August act of kindness.  😦  I’m planning to change this by doing 2 in September, but I doesn’t change that I missed my August deadline.  I really do want to keep up with my goals and if I let them slip by, how can I say I’m committed.  Well, I AM committed and my report next week will show that.  I also haven’t done my New Testament study for the past month and I need to get back to that.  I miss it.  It’s funny how you can read the New Testament time and time again and it still speaks to you in a different way.  Lastly for the bad, I haven’t started the couch to 5k program yet.  I do walk my dog morning and night, but it’s definitely NOT a 5k.  I feel like I’ve just misstepped on these goals and will be back on track soon, but…

Now for the UGLY.  Still no painting.  Still no bags.  Still no closet work.  Still no excuses.  What more is there to say?  Not much.  Happy Goal Tending!

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The Battle Continues

Some days I feel like I’m in a battle with myself. Should I eat the cookie? Should I ignore the cookie? Really I think, “Should I really have to battle with myself over a cookie?” But the fact is, I do. Change is difficult and my body is just as stubborn as my mind. My body says to my mind, “I want a cookie!” and my mind rationalizes, “So what’s one cookie? One cookie isn’t going to affect my whole life.” as my body rants on “I want a cookie!” Maybe it’s so hard because my body is so insistent and has only one thing to say. While my mind must work through all the pros and cons and make a decision when in reality, the decision has already been made. I made the decision to eat healthier.

Eating healthy can mean a lot of things depending on who you are and where you live, but we all know that if you have a weakness for cookies, you should probably avoid them. So, I’ve decided that, for the most part I need to avoid sugary foods. I have a weakness for them. We can’t give up food altogether, but we can recognize where we have the most problems and take steps toward avoiding those foods that tempt us the most.

The battle rages, but I’m charging forward knowing some things are worth the fight. My health is one of those things. My first weigh in since I started up again is Monday. Wish me luck!

FIND A FRIEND!

This week has been stressful.  Lots to do.  Lots to pull together.  Good news.  Bad news.  Problems and blessings.  The worst time for me to watch my diet and health is during times of stress.  That being said, here’s what I learned through all of this.  HOLD ON TO A GOOD FRIEND.

I work with the best group of gals you could ever imagine.  They too are going through all of these things.  Do you know what they said?  Let’s ALL bring our lunch everyday this week.  And then…they DID!  I can’t tell you how much having their support made my walk through stress easy enough so that I could focus on what was important.  My friends and I are all very different people.  We’re different sizes and weights.  We’re different personalities.  We handle stress differently, but we care so much for one another that we see the point of need for the individual as well as the group.  Now there’s a real blessing. 

So today’s message is find a friend.  You can’t always do this alone.  Sometimes it’s embarrassing.  Sometimes you’re afraid of failure.  Sometimes you don’t want to have to be accountable.  We all feel that way.  Don’t put it off anymore.  If you’re really serious about this path to good health, FIND A FRIEND!

A Rebel in Disguise

I’ve been thinking a lot about lifestyle lately.  I’ve decided I’m a rebel.  Not in the goth, wear black lipstick, pierce yourself kind of rebel, but a rebel none the less.  I don’t know what in the world made me think eating anything I want was freedom.  Is it really freedom to eat whatever you want?  For me, I’d have to say it was more like bondage.  Eating whatever I want wasn’t really freedom at all.  Eating whatever I wanted kept me fat, less able to move the way I wanted, let people make judgements about me–true or not–and hurt my self esteem.  So I ask you, was that really freedom?  I realize now I was just rebelling against the rules. 

Rule #1:  Take care of your body.  Taking care of your body doesn’t mean giving it whatever it wants.  When you give a child whatever it wants it becomes unruly and spoiled.  I’ve found my body has the same reaction.  For many years, my body has been unruly and spoiled.  I don’t think it ever made me happy to be in this condition, it was just easier.  And, I certainly wasn’t free. 

Rule #2:  Listen to your doctor.  My doctor has told me for years that I needed to lose weight, but since I am basically a healthy person, I ignored what he said.  Oh yes, I gave lip service, took meds, exercised for awhile, lost a few pounds, but I wasn’t really dedicated to making the commitment to follow rule #1.  After all I wanted my freedom.  But as the old adage goes, “Freedom isn’t free.”

Rule #3 Respect yourself:  This may be the most important rule of all.  Respecting yourself isn’t just being confident–I am.  It isn’t just doing what you please whenever you please–I did.  It’s understanding that what you do with your life is more than doing whatever you want whenever you want.  Respecting yourself means making a difference in your own life and in the lives of others.  I felt like I had the others part down.  I cared about others, prayed for those who needed it, and tried to be a good person, but when you leave out the part of respecting yourself, something just doesn’t ring true with the rest of it.

So, I’m facing the fact today that I’m a rebel.  I guess that can work to my advantage at times, but when it comes to my health, I realize it really wasn’t freedom at all.  It was rebellion.  I’m done with rebellion.  It doesn’t treat me nice.  From here on out, I’m following the rules:  Take care of your body, Listen  to your doctor, and Respect yourself.  Hey, I may as well give it try.  What’ve I got to lose?  Except maybe a few or a lot of pounds and inches.  🙂

You’ve Got to be Kidding Me!

Me at a hefty 278 lbs

I got so mad at myself the other day.  I felt overloaded with sugar, bloated by salt and on top of that I looked in the mirror at my underwear clad body and thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”  How in the world can a person lose 22 lbs and still look fat?  It was then I knew that I had to lose the next decade of poundage.  I’ve said goodbye to the 70’s.  I’ve said goodbye to the 60’s.  Now it’s time to say goodbye to the 50’s. 

I think sometimes you just have to get sick of yourself before you can move on.  Well, here I am sick of myself.  Granted, my clothes fit better and I do have more energy, but come on!  I’ve lost 22 lbs and I’m still the same size!  I’m sick of it! I want to go down a size for pete’s sake. 

You know what else I’m sick of?  I’m sick to death that it takes an act of congress to sit in a booth or a school chair!  I want to sit comfortably in one of those.  And I mean WITHOUT my stomach roll resting on top.  How about theater seats, airplane seats where the safety belt barely fastens, or in a lawn chair without worrying about breakage?  Being fat is just downright embarrassing.  Most of the time I’m pretty confident, but then I see a picture of myself and I think again, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”  Enough of this rant.  When I look in the mirror in a few months and think, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”  I want it to mean something wholly different, and I want to be down at least one dress size.  Goodbye to the 50’s!

Me now 22 lbs lighter

 

Girl Scout Cookies and Other Such Normalities

Yesterday I ate a girl scout cookie.  It was my favorite–Do-si-dos.  They’re all peanut butter crunchy cookie with peanut butter filling.  I love peanut butter and had decided that I was going to enjoy one even though I’m now sugar free.  Fact is, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I used to.  The sugar kind of burned my tongue, an unexpected sensation, and sort of took the enjoyment out of the peanut butter.  The good thing about it was that it made me all the more certain that I am on the right path for myself. 

Now if I could just get organized, I’d be next to perfect.  🙂

Beautiful Days Ahead

Last week I lost 3 lbs.  My husband lost 2.5.  I won for this week, but I’m sure it will be short lived.  No matter what happens, more beautiful days are ahead for both of us.  My husband is trying to get his diabetes under control and I’d like to just look better and feel better.  For those of you following my sugarless journey, I’m still sugarless and loving it.  I no longer crave or wish to eat sugar and now I’m saying goodbye to another decade of weight.  I still don’t look thin by any means, but my clothes fit better and I feel better.  With summer coming on, there are more beautiful days ahead, and I’m including my own beautiful self in those days.  Still not quite time for a before and after, but not as far away from it as I once was.  When I lose another 10 lbs, I’ll post a before and after  shot so you can see my progress.  Even so, I’ll still have a long way to go, but it’s good to document the journey.  I can’t believe I’ve come this far!