In the beginning, beginning, beginning

I titled this blog this way because I feel like I’m always beginning some self-improvement that never quite gets resolved.  This will be a short beginning post because my daughter and I have decided to work together this summer to lose 20 lbs each.  Now, believe me, she has no where near the pounds to lose that I do, but, like me, she also is on a self-improvement kick.

Tomorrow morning I go to sign papers for my new job.  I’m so excited because now instead of a 90 minute drive, I have a 6 minute drive.  But I digress.  Before I leave for that, I’m going to take a picture of myself in my underwear.  Don’t worry, I won’t gross you out with that picture.  ;).  I’m also going to weigh myself and record both of these things in a journal.  I already have the one set up from my last beginning, so I’ll just continue with that one.  I plan to glue the picture of myself in the journal along with my beginning weight and then take a picture with my weight every week until the summer is over.  I think I need to document and see progress for accountability and encouragement.

That ends my post for this week.  No picture–like I promised, but maybe next week I’ll take a picture of my notebook so you can see what it looks like.  And, I’ll post my progress on this blog weekly too.  If I get to the end and actually lose the 20 lbs, I’ll post a before and after picture then.  That is if I’m not too embarrassed.  🙂


Looking Toward Summer

As summer comes hustling in the door, I find my self looking to make new goals. I think it’s important, even if I don’t completely achieve them, to at least have something to aspire to. Last year’s inspirations, though not completely realized, allowed me to see newness in myself. This year I’ve decided to keep it simple. My goals will be for the next six months, June through December. I can do this. Yes I can!

Goal 1. Lose 30 pounds. I lost 20 pounds last year and have kept it off. The funny thing is, I still am a very fat woman, so people say things like, “Boy you really look nice in plaid.” or “Did you get a new haircut?” What they don’t realize is that what they’re noticing is that I’ve lost 20 pounds. I think it’s kind of funny actually. Here’s my before picture for this year:

Me right now.

Me right now.

Walk following a program to get progressively better until I am beginning to get fit.
Follow the Emeals clean eating plan to eat at home nightly. (Here’s a link if you’d like to try it) Just click on this picture and you’re there. SAVE TIME AND MONEY WITH EMEALS MEAL PLANS
Weigh myself daily. I’ve been going back and forth on this one, but I’ve decided that I can live with the ups and downs if it helps me to see my eating patterns. I plan to track it in an excel sheet. That should give me a nice graph of my week.

Goal 2: Fill this wall with family pictures, old and new. Here’s a picture of the wall now:
blank wall I’ll post the process as I start arranging the photos.

Goal 3: Read through the Bible looking for these things to apply to my life: Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness and Self Control. I think what I really need to do is devote myself to one or two of these things a week and discover what they mean in my life. I know what they mean, but what do I do and how do I show these things as belonging and constant in my personal dealings with people? Do I really show love, joy and peace? I know I’m not always patient or kind or even good. Do we even need to discuss self-control? I think not. lol

These are the goals I have made for myself. They may seem simple, but for me, they are rigorous. After all, what good would it be to attain a goal that wasn’t rigorous? Add a little rigor to your life. There’s no limit to what you can achieve!

Smiles and Sorrows

So much has happened since I last posted.  We left our house in Flower Mound and relocated to Cleburne where my husband’s coffee shop is located.  I love the old house we live in.  It has large rooms and a kitchen where you could set up a dance floor.  The guest room is all set up and is so comfy I think Bob wants to make it into a man cave–Not happening.  It has a nice sized pantry and laundry room.  My bedroom is long with built in shelves and dressers and closets at the end.  One of them is a shoe closet.  Not that I need one.  My 4 pairs of shoes are very lonely in there since it has shoe shelves floor to ceiling.  There is a sewing room at the back of the house that is all windows so that it is bright and sunny with a huge backyard for Bruno.  There is even a very large workshop in the back that is big enough to fit the boat if we wanted that.  All in all I think the house fits our needs very well and we are comfortable there.  Of course, there are some drawbacks.  One bathroom.  One bathroom?  Really?  It’s a big bathroom, but really?  One bathroom?  Enough said.  Everyone knows that this is a drawback–a drawback to the 50’s.  🙂  Drawback number 2:  Window units and Dearborn heaters.  I actually kind of enjoy the Dearborn heaters.  They are really warm and Bruno will actually whine if they are off for too long.  But, window units are a pain.  We haven’t lived through a 106 degree summer yet, but I’m not looking forward to it.  The biggest drawback of all is that I work in McKinney–a town 76 miles away.  I leave the house every day at 5:45 and I don’t get home most nights until 7:30 or later.  It just makes me feel tired all the time.  I’m looking in this area, but haven’t found anything yet.  Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Our Dearborn heater which heats our living room.

Our Dearborn heater which heats our living room.

shoe closet

Lonely, lonely, shoes…

Moving has made me go through that old closet and believe me I am down to nubbins.  I need some new clothes!  Most of my t-shirts had holes in them.  I secretly still want to keep them, but am planning to buy a couple and then get rid of a couple a little at a time until they are all replaced.  No, really.  I’ve joined a fabric co-op so that I can get busy on those bags, and I’m holding down the weight I lost during my first challenge.

Now for a few sorrows.  My husband had a heart attack in February and had a quadruple bi-pass on Valentine’s Day.  I never knew this was such a long recovery.  The doctor said 6 months to a year!  He’s doing very well and every day is a little better, but I can’t stand to see him suffering.  The difficult thing about heart surgery is that it creates a change in your body, your emotions and your spirit.  It’s like a metamorphosis  where you’re hoping for a butterfly, but you could get a beetle.  Let me just say, it’s mostly butterfly, but the occasional beetle does crawl out from time to time.  🙂  All in all we are walking this walk together and once school is out, I’m going to make new goals.  I believe that the one thing I learned too late was that everything–and I mean everything–needs a plan.  My current plan is to walk through all of these changes in  hope and faith that the path I’m on is the right one.  More specifics to come.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Slow and Steady Wins the Race

Ok, so I’ve been kind of a tortoise about this whole closet goal.  But, today, I have begun a slow and steady pace toward, well, beginning it.  🙂  Here’s what I did:

  • Washed everything
  • Dried everything (hey, this takes time and is important.)
  • Sorted things into categories
  • Dealt with each category

Here’s how the sorting went:

  1. Clothes that I like and still wear–These included some things I should probably move to another category, but will have to wait until I’m stronger.  I actually shifted back and forth over an old t-shirt that was faded and oh so comfy cozy.  Needless to say, it’s in my drawer now.  🙂
  2. Goodwill–This pile is a pile only a rummage sale junkie could love.  These included anything that doesn’t fit (large or small) and is still in enough good shape that someone might want to wear it (as long as they’re 80 lbs overweight of course.) Looking around, I don’t think I’m alone on that count.  I also included some things my husband and son will never miss but are still hanging onto.  (Don’t tell them)
  3. Trash galore–For this, I actually dragged the big trash can next to my laundry room door and tossed as I went.  It’s trash day today.  There were clothes with holes, shirts with buttons missing or anything with stains that have been there for longer than I can remember.  For some reason, this was the hardest category.  I labored over those holey shirts as if they were really holy.  I told myself, “I can use these when I’m gardening”–yeah right.  And, “I need some old shirts for when I’m cleaning the house.”  Right, like I’m going to search and find an old holey t-shirt to clean the house.  Isn’t that what plain old t-shirts are for?

Anyway, through it all–tortoise or no tortoise–I feel better about the whole thing.  I actually think I can do this again and finish the job by December.  I’ve got 2 months right?  It was kind of freeing actually.  Some of those things I threw away were truly junk–well, all of them were truly junk, I finally have to admit.

So, now that I’m free of all my trash, or treasure for someone else, I can think about losing weight again.  I have hit a wall in that area, but getting rid of all these clothes has renewed my interest in becoming slimmer by Christmas.  It means a whole new wardrobe!  Now that’s incentive!  Besides, slow and steady wins the race, right?

Go ahead, tackle that closet.  You can do it!  You need some new things anyway.  🙂


The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Ok, it’s been two weeks and I haven’t posted.  I’m a little off my game, but I have committed to this through the good, the bad and the ugly.  I told my husband last week that I lost weight.  Ok, it was .2 lbs, but hey, I figure it’s still going down.  He didn’t quite see it that way.  He said, “Take off your shorts, you’ll lose another .2 lbs.”  He may be right, but I’m still seeing this as part of the good.  I can zip my jeans without having to monitor the zipper all day, so that .2 lbs means something!  lol

Car and countertop?  check!  I’m doing well with this except when my husband puts his stuff on my side of the countertop or leaves his coffee cup and napkin on the car floor.  We got some talking to do.  So far, I’ve been just pushing his stuff back on his side and taking the trash out myself, but before I become Monster Wife, I better get a handle on it.

Now for the Bad.  I didn’t do my August act of kindness.  😦  I’m planning to change this by doing 2 in September, but I doesn’t change that I missed my August deadline.  I really do want to keep up with my goals and if I let them slip by, how can I say I’m committed.  Well, I AM committed and my report next week will show that.  I also haven’t done my New Testament study for the past month and I need to get back to that.  I miss it.  It’s funny how you can read the New Testament time and time again and it still speaks to you in a different way.  Lastly for the bad, I haven’t started the couch to 5k program yet.  I do walk my dog morning and night, but it’s definitely NOT a 5k.  I feel like I’ve just misstepped on these goals and will be back on track soon, but…

Now for the UGLY.  Still no painting.  Still no bags.  Still no closet work.  Still no excuses.  What more is there to say?  Not much.  Happy Goal Tending!

Goal Busters

What are goal busters?  I’ve been thinking about this a lot this week because now that I’m committed to writing this blog and keeping to my 6 month goals, I want to be ready for any goal busters that come my way.  Here’s a few to look out for:

  1. Apathy:  Apathy is when you just say to yourself, “Who cares?  Why should I care?  No one else does.”  So, what do you do? You leave your goals on the sofa with a bag of chips and the remote and do whatever you want.  Apathy is a way to give up and blame someone else in the process.  STAY AWAY FROM APATHY!
  2. Procrastination:  Procrastination says, “Today I’m going to do what I want.  I’ll get back to my goals tomorrow.”  Boy am I guilty of this one.  After all, I’m 50 years old and still tackling my weight problem.
  3. Laziness:  Laziness says, “I’m too tired.  I’ve already worked hard enough.  I don’t feel like it today.”  Not that you don’t need some days when you can just sit back and relax, but when laziness becomes a habit it turns into procrastination and you end up fat, fifty and frustrated.  Oops, was that too strong?  lol
  4. Nay Sayers:  Avoid Nay Sayers at all cost.  These are the people in your life that offer you donuts when they know you’ve sworn off sugar.  They don’t really believe you’re committed to your goals so they don’t even try to help you achieve them.  They also make excuses for you to quit.  They say, “I like you just the way you are.  Don’t work so hard.”  Maybe they’re trying to be nice, but it’s not very helpful.
  5. Depression:  Whenever I get depressed, it’s usually because I haven’t met my goal or I’ve gone backward in my goal, or sometimes an event in my life changes my perspective and leads me down the path to depression.  Depression causes you to devalue yourself or the life you’ve chosen to lead.  Guess where your goals go then?  Down the tubes because we tend to throw the baby out with the bath water.  My life sucks, therefore I don’t need any goals.  Terrible thinking and terrible reasoning.  When you become depressed look to your goals to bring you back up on the path to feeling better about yourself.

I hope that when I get to these points in my goal walk, that I look back at this post and remember the goal busters and stand strong against their evil forces.  You can too.  Don’t let the goal busters control you.  You control your life.  After all, it’s yours to live.

And now for an update:

This week I lost 3.5 lbs!  Yea!  I’m back on track.  That makes 5 lbs altogether since I started.

I have been walking, but not as much as I was.  I need to improve this goal and add drink more water as a side goal.

I’ve been wearing my make up to work.  I had two presentations last week and two people commented on how nice my hair looked.  Check!

My car and countertop have remained clean.  I’m amazed at how attentive I’ve become to these two places.

Still no progress on my closet.  This seems to be my most difficult goal.  I CAN DO IT!  Get away from me procrastination!

My care package goes out on Monday.  It’s all ready to go.  I hope she enjoys it.

I found a pattern and will begin sewing this week.  I figure I can do a couple of bags a week.

I didn’t read the NT this week.  I’ll have to get back on that this week.

I found a painting challenge I like and will begin by taking some pictures of objects by candlelight.

Haven’t signed up for the esl test yet, but will plan for it when I get back from Boston.

Cheers to all of you out there in the blogosphere!  Good luck with your goals this week and don’t give in to the goal busters!


And Then the Bottom Fell Out!

I didn’t want to even blog today because I’m so disappointed in myself!  I guess disappointments come, but when you feel like the whole bottom fell out it’s hard to get back on your feet.  Actually, I think this blog is helping me to do just that.  I feel an obligation and commitment to blogging every week about my struggles and triumps so what choice do I have until December 25?

Ok, so here goes–I GAINED 2 LBS THIS WEEK!!!!  That’s right.  I gained 2 lbs.  Arghhhh!  I’m sure my summertime addiction to ice cream isn’t helping.  “But I’ve been walking.”  She whines. “I even went swimming with Bruno and then went walking afterward!”  So, here’s my frustrated face:

Oh, she’s really frustrated!

Well, I can be proud of a few things.  I’m still keeping my counter top in my bathroom clean and organized.  AND…I’ve cleaned out my car.  I mean I REALLY cleaned it.  I washed all the surfaces including the carpet, dashboard, steering wheel and seats.  I tried to hit every crevice.  I’ve added this to my keep it clean goal.  I drove to a training the other day and even my friends commented on how clean my car looked.  That ought to give you an idea of what it used to look like.  No picture.  It would be too embarrassing.  lol

I’ve also continued with my Bible reading.  This week I read Matthew Chapter 2.  It struck me that God came to people so many times in their dreams–5 times just in chapter 2.  I think God does this with us too, often to help us solve a problem or to help us feel secure in a situation.  I’ve seen every house I’ve ever lived in 3 or 4 years before we lived there in my dreams.  It’s interesting to me that it comes as such a surprise to me every time it happens.  I’ve recently had another dream about a new house (I guess it will be 3 or 4 years down the road) so I’m keeping it in my heart until the time comes.  Now, I’m not a person who writes down every dream I have or reads things into dreams, but maybe I need to be more aware when my dreams seem very prominent or real to me.  Something to think about anyway.

I had to work 2 days this week and I put on make up and did my hair both days.  Ok, so the next day when I went out with friends, I didn’t wear make up, but I DID wear it to work.  😀

And now for a few downers.  I still haven’t started painting.  I want to.  I really do.  I just can’t seem to get inspired.

I didn’t sew any bags for my husband’s business.  I did, in fact, look for the pattern, but couldn’t find it.  I think I’ve figured out where it is and will go and buy it this week.

As for my closet–it’s a MESS!  I don’t even want to go in there much less sort anything out.  I know I need to make myself, but the task just seems too arduous.  This is my #1 goal to begin this week.  Does moving clothes around on top of the dryer count as sorting them out?  If that counts, I’m way ahead of the game.  Ok, I know it doesn’t count, but that’s where I’m at right now with this chore.

I guess there’s a moral in all of this, but I’m too exhausted (and frustrated) to care.  Let me know if you come up with a good one.