A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes

You know it’s time to reevaluate when your husband says, “Why are you eating that?  You know it’s not good for you.”  At least when my husband does because he has never gotten after me for what I eat.  I think he knows how serious I am about this and wants to help keep me on track. 

At the time I was eating a delicious fried pie that the local Menonites make and sell in our area.  This may seem like a small thing, but when you have a sugar addiction, one small mistake can take you back down the rabbit hole like Alice looking for just the right cookie to make you big again, small again, big again.  You get the idea.  It’s that yoyo diet cycle that keeps the weight loss companies in business and me in a constant turmoil of self love and self loathing–neither of which is good in too much measure.

Don’t get too upset at those who suggest you shouldn’t be eating something.  Most likely their motives are to help, not hurt.  Turn the negative into a positive for yourself and move forward.  Besides, he was right.  I didn’t have any business eating that.  I know my state of mind better than anyone and it very likely could’ve taken me back to square one.  So, Thanks Honey!  And, thanks to the next person who reminds me that I need to be more aware of what I put into my mouth.  Remember what Walt Disney said:  “All your dreams can come true if you have the courage to pursue them.”  So take courage my friends.  Pursue your dreams.  They’re out there waiting for you!

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FIND A FRIEND!

This week has been stressful.  Lots to do.  Lots to pull together.  Good news.  Bad news.  Problems and blessings.  The worst time for me to watch my diet and health is during times of stress.  That being said, here’s what I learned through all of this.  HOLD ON TO A GOOD FRIEND.

I work with the best group of gals you could ever imagine.  They too are going through all of these things.  Do you know what they said?  Let’s ALL bring our lunch everyday this week.  And then…they DID!  I can’t tell you how much having their support made my walk through stress easy enough so that I could focus on what was important.  My friends and I are all very different people.  We’re different sizes and weights.  We’re different personalities.  We handle stress differently, but we care so much for one another that we see the point of need for the individual as well as the group.  Now there’s a real blessing. 

So today’s message is find a friend.  You can’t always do this alone.  Sometimes it’s embarrassing.  Sometimes you’re afraid of failure.  Sometimes you don’t want to have to be accountable.  We all feel that way.  Don’t put it off anymore.  If you’re really serious about this path to good health, FIND A FRIEND!

A Rebel in Disguise

I’ve been thinking a lot about lifestyle lately.  I’ve decided I’m a rebel.  Not in the goth, wear black lipstick, pierce yourself kind of rebel, but a rebel none the less.  I don’t know what in the world made me think eating anything I want was freedom.  Is it really freedom to eat whatever you want?  For me, I’d have to say it was more like bondage.  Eating whatever I want wasn’t really freedom at all.  Eating whatever I wanted kept me fat, less able to move the way I wanted, let people make judgements about me–true or not–and hurt my self esteem.  So I ask you, was that really freedom?  I realize now I was just rebelling against the rules. 

Rule #1:  Take care of your body.  Taking care of your body doesn’t mean giving it whatever it wants.  When you give a child whatever it wants it becomes unruly and spoiled.  I’ve found my body has the same reaction.  For many years, my body has been unruly and spoiled.  I don’t think it ever made me happy to be in this condition, it was just easier.  And, I certainly wasn’t free. 

Rule #2:  Listen to your doctor.  My doctor has told me for years that I needed to lose weight, but since I am basically a healthy person, I ignored what he said.  Oh yes, I gave lip service, took meds, exercised for awhile, lost a few pounds, but I wasn’t really dedicated to making the commitment to follow rule #1.  After all I wanted my freedom.  But as the old adage goes, “Freedom isn’t free.”

Rule #3 Respect yourself:  This may be the most important rule of all.  Respecting yourself isn’t just being confident–I am.  It isn’t just doing what you please whenever you please–I did.  It’s understanding that what you do with your life is more than doing whatever you want whenever you want.  Respecting yourself means making a difference in your own life and in the lives of others.  I felt like I had the others part down.  I cared about others, prayed for those who needed it, and tried to be a good person, but when you leave out the part of respecting yourself, something just doesn’t ring true with the rest of it.

So, I’m facing the fact today that I’m a rebel.  I guess that can work to my advantage at times, but when it comes to my health, I realize it really wasn’t freedom at all.  It was rebellion.  I’m done with rebellion.  It doesn’t treat me nice.  From here on out, I’m following the rules:  Take care of your body, Listen  to your doctor, and Respect yourself.  Hey, I may as well give it try.  What’ve I got to lose?  Except maybe a few or a lot of pounds and inches.  🙂

You’ve Got to be Kidding Me!

Me at a hefty 278 lbs

I got so mad at myself the other day.  I felt overloaded with sugar, bloated by salt and on top of that I looked in the mirror at my underwear clad body and thought, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”  How in the world can a person lose 22 lbs and still look fat?  It was then I knew that I had to lose the next decade of poundage.  I’ve said goodbye to the 70’s.  I’ve said goodbye to the 60’s.  Now it’s time to say goodbye to the 50’s. 

I think sometimes you just have to get sick of yourself before you can move on.  Well, here I am sick of myself.  Granted, my clothes fit better and I do have more energy, but come on!  I’ve lost 22 lbs and I’m still the same size!  I’m sick of it! I want to go down a size for pete’s sake. 

You know what else I’m sick of?  I’m sick to death that it takes an act of congress to sit in a booth or a school chair!  I want to sit comfortably in one of those.  And I mean WITHOUT my stomach roll resting on top.  How about theater seats, airplane seats where the safety belt barely fastens, or in a lawn chair without worrying about breakage?  Being fat is just downright embarrassing.  Most of the time I’m pretty confident, but then I see a picture of myself and I think again, “You’ve got to be kidding me!”  Enough of this rant.  When I look in the mirror in a few months and think, “You’ve got to be kidding me.”  I want it to mean something wholly different, and I want to be down at least one dress size.  Goodbye to the 50’s!

Me now 22 lbs lighter

 

Bad Habits for Good Habits

Well, the summer’s almost over and guess what I’ve found out?  Most of my friends have really dropped the weight this summer!  Now I’m the one who’s behind.  I just read an article about a man who lost 177 lbs in 11 months.  Here’s the link if you’re interested http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/07/29/nevin.weight.loss.irprt/index.html?eref=igoogledmn_topstories.  Do you know how he did it?  Exercise and proper diet. DUH.  No hCG, no ultra-low calorie diets,  but by changing his bad habits for good habits.  I’ve lost 22lbs altogether, and of course I feel much better than I did, but now comes the uphill part where I have to change my bad habits for good ones.  It’s not about will power people.  It’s about changing your bad habits for good ones.

Anyway, seeing my friends really motivated me to get off the truck and walk to my next destination.  🙂  I bought a pedometer and I’m not going to set any step goals except that I want to do more steps every day.  I don’t care if it’s just 2 more steps than yesterday.  I want to change my bad habit of couch potato into the good habit of taking a walk after work.  The second bad habit I’m going to change into a good one is water consumption.  I bought a water bottle that holds enough water for the whole day.  I fill it about half full at night  and put it in the freezer.  Then I add water on top in the morning.  It stays cold almost all day and I just carry it with me wherever I go.

I know that I have to start small.  If I give myself too many changes at once, nothing changes at all.  They say it takes 27 days to change a habit.  We’ll see.  🙂

Girl Scout Cookies and Other Such Normalities

Yesterday I ate a girl scout cookie.  It was my favorite–Do-si-dos.  They’re all peanut butter crunchy cookie with peanut butter filling.  I love peanut butter and had decided that I was going to enjoy one even though I’m now sugar free.  Fact is, I didn’t enjoy it as much as I used to.  The sugar kind of burned my tongue, an unexpected sensation, and sort of took the enjoyment out of the peanut butter.  The good thing about it was that it made me all the more certain that I am on the right path for myself. 

Now if I could just get organized, I’d be next to perfect.  🙂

Beautiful Days Ahead

Last week I lost 3 lbs.  My husband lost 2.5.  I won for this week, but I’m sure it will be short lived.  No matter what happens, more beautiful days are ahead for both of us.  My husband is trying to get his diabetes under control and I’d like to just look better and feel better.  For those of you following my sugarless journey, I’m still sugarless and loving it.  I no longer crave or wish to eat sugar and now I’m saying goodbye to another decade of weight.  I still don’t look thin by any means, but my clothes fit better and I feel better.  With summer coming on, there are more beautiful days ahead, and I’m including my own beautiful self in those days.  Still not quite time for a before and after, but not as far away from it as I once was.  When I lose another 10 lbs, I’ll post a before and after  shot so you can see my progress.  Even so, I’ll still have a long way to go, but it’s good to document the journey.  I can’t believe I’ve come this far!