Bone Tired

Have you ever felt tired to the bone?  That’s how I feel today.  Tired of eating all the right things.  Tired of my job (I actually love my job, but some weeks are like that.).  Tired of trying to do my best while at the same time knowing it’s not quite good enough.  I know, I know, I’m having a pity party.  It’s one of those days when you want to go home, lay on the bed and just let your mind spin away to another world.  Sometimes a good cry helps with that too, but I’m too tired for that.  It’s in these times when  you want to throw up your hands and just say, “Who really cares?  I’m going to do whatever I want to do.”  That’s what my body tells me, “Go ahead.  Do what you want to do.”  Even when I’m tired I know this is a lie.  We weren’t made to do whatever we want to do, but sometimes I give into it anyway pretending I don’t know any better.  Not today.  Today I will choose health.  I will choose what is best instead of what I want.  Not  because I have some lofty goal.  Not because something might happen to me if I don’t.  It’s because, if I really want change in my life, if I really want to be something different, what I want has to take a back seat to what is right.  Ok, so I’m tired.  So I feel defeated.  So I don’t get to do everything I want to do.  Choosing what is right is the catalyst I need for change.  But let me think about that after a nice, long nap.  ZZZZZZZZZ

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